Disturbing The Peace
by Newboy7
Summary: Bunch of oneshots surrounding the Pines family about 3 years after the end of season 2. Enjoy. Reviews Welcome :)
1. Basement Brawl

'Ah, Gravity Falls. This hustle and bustle of mysteries. The go to town of weirdness. Most people would dismiss this back woods town as a small tranquil place but when you're being chased by a 40m high monster that peaceful image has suddenly been burnt, run over and eaten by a goat at this point.'

'Nothing really changes when you're a Pines, twin at your hip, running from danger, adrenaline pumping through your veins-'

'Dipper! If you haven't noticed we're currently running from a hoard of burnt tree spirits get you shit together!'

Turning towards Mabel with a spiteful look, 'I was only trying to commentate on the situation'

'Yeah well this ain't Dipper's guide to the unexplained anymore, this is flee as fast as you can without trying to get killed whilst roots with thorns spring form the earth'

Staring into the sky thoughtfully, 'Sound like it would make a good show'

'Now is not the time for your nerdiness!'

Sprinting full pelt they barrelled past thorns and ducked under trees, eventually bursting through the tree line at top speed until they slammed into the shack door breaking it over. The sweeping mass of death spirits slammed into the magical unicorn barrier and dissipated,

'IF THAT WAS THE DARN DOOR AGAIN, DIPPER I'M GOING TO THROUGH YOU IN THE BOTTOMLESS PIT'

'Oh no, I'm so dead'

'Yeah you're dead'

'Thanks for the comfort Mabel…' Sarcasm dripping in his voice he looked around rapidly for a way out of the oncoming storm approaching his way.

'Anytime Broseph, just don't expect me to come on another _expedition,_ I do want to live till my 40's.' Mabel walked off to the counter and sat on the stool pretending to read a magazine about 'The Pig's Closet' catalogue. Guess it was for Waddles.

The thudding footsteps of Grunkle Stan was nearing closer. In a last ditch attempt Dipper rushed towards the vending machine and punched in the code.

'Oh no you don't mister, get your butt here now or so help me I will find Ford and tell him to take away your journals'

'Nice try Grunkle Stan' The door slammed shut with snap as Dipper's voice faded away.

'Oy what I am going to do with that kid.'

Mabel grew a sly grin on her face that stretched from ear to ear.

'Oh no, I know that face'

'Do you my dear Grunkle, because it seems to me you don't know the new code to the vending machine' Giggling she stretched comfortably on the stool behind the counter and rested her feet on the register.

'Well, Nerd 1 and Nerd 2 down there still haven't told me, I thought for sure those death threats and back hair I sent them would cause 'em to snap but they are relentless as they are dumbless.

Sharpening her fingernails she looked off into the distance absentmindedly 'Well Grunkle Stan it appears you are in need of some service'

'You darn right… Wait… okay kid what do you want from me.'

'Oh you know what I want'

'Kid I'm not getting you a scooter, for the last time you already destroyed all of the bikes.'

'Pfft, they were already busted'. Dismissively waving her hand in the air.

'By the time you were done, you couldn't even weld the parts back together!'

'My offer stands, take it or leave it old man'

'You drive a hard bargain kid. I'm so proud' Grunkle Stan silently shed a tear.

'Grunkle Stan, are you crying?' Mabel began to furiously giggle.

'Over all this spilt money yeh! Now what's the combination?' Plating his hands eagerly on the desk he lent in as Mabel whispered in his ear.

' _1,2,3,4'_

'You're kidding me…'

'Noooppe, I'll expect the scooter by next week'

'They learn how to swindle so fast'

*sigh* 'Thanks sweetie'

With Mabel looking triumphant and proud of her devious skills Stan paced over to the vending machine and punched in the code quickly. The door swung open with a loud creak and he raced down the stairs.

'HEY GOOFUS AND OLD-GOOFUS, GUESS WHAT I JUST UNLOCKED'

Soos entered into the gift shop with a recent group of tourists and walked up to the counter before straightening his fez in the mirror.

'We got a new batch here dawg, full house'

'Cool Soos, guess what I tricked Stan into buying me'

'Oh dude you finally did it! You got the scooter, congrats. The apprentice has now become the master, teach me your ways wise one.' Soos bowed in a respectful manner, kneeling as I a knight would do to his King.

Mable leaped into a victorious stance on her stool punched her fist into the air in triumph, 'The Swindler, has been swindled!' A bunch of tourists gave strange looks to the ongoing conversation but resumed to flicking Mr. Mystery bobble heads that always screamed like sandpaper. 'BUY MORE MERCHADISE.'

Soos caught sounds of distant screams coming from Ford's basement, 'Uh dude, should I be worried about that?' Glancing every so often, worriedly at the open door.

Rolling her eyes in a dramatic motion 'Psshh, naw I'm sure they're sorting it out between themselves as they speak.' Distant sounds of smashing and laser fire followed. 'See, working it out'.

'You really no how to light the fire hambone.' Casually commenting Mabel's ability to cause restlessness between the 'mature' ones in the Pines family.

'Hah, we're the Pines family; disturbing the peace is what we do.'


	2. The Power Of Mabel

**2-15-2-2-12-5 8-5-1-4-19 13-1-11-5 6-21-14 4-9-19-20-18-1-3-20-9-15-14-19**

 **2-21-20 15-16-5-14 4-15-15-18-19 3-1-14 8-1-22-5 18-5-1-3-20-9-15-14-19**

 **4-15-14'20 19-5-5-11 20-15 4-9-19-20-21-18-2 20-8-5 16-5-1-3-5**

 **25-15-21 13-1-25 6-15-18-7-5-20 20-8-5 19-12-21-13-2-5-18-9-14-7 2-5-1-19-20**

Despite it being the middle of summer, it was a surprisingly chilly night in Gravity Falls Oregon. Most creatures had disappeared into their habitats. Gnomes huddled together for warmth in the burrows with many squirrels stuffed down their overalls (The wierdos). The Manotaurs rested in their hot springs, spanking each other with towels and debating who had the best punching nipple techniques which most usually… sorry, always ended in a wrestling contest.

Even the Gobble Wonker, who was accustomed to the freezing winters when the lake decided to freeze over, had retreated to the deepest recesses so the light could barely touch him, hidden in the murky depths where beavers struggled to reach.

You might have guessed over the years that one of the two Grunkle's may have had the smart idea of placing an internal heating system within the old shack but alas when you're freezing your balls off a 2 in the morning you can't help but curse the lack of attention to common sense the two had put together. It was even fricking colder inside the shack then outside.

Shuddering Dipper curled into a foetal position and wrapped himself up as much as possible and with three blankets on top of you, it's hard to manoeuvre without falling off the bed in a heap, so yeah that comforting thought was always there. Tossing and turning he struggled to find a place of warmth other than his crotch which was seeming to die every few seconds due to the sub minus temperatures, _Oh God I think my grandchildren just disappeared form existence._

Dipper glanced at Mabel who was snoring along with waddles and comfortably laying on her side with her… new heater, which she has been neglecting to share with him, her side of the room looked like it practically radiated with warmth. Whispering to himself, 'Of course, wrapped in eternal slumber; as usual'. Rolling his eyes, he looked towards the ceiling and study the dents marks from Mabel's bike incident a few weeks ago. He would always envy how she could just switch off from life, he was an insomniac after all. Something which seemed near impossible in the middle of the day when her voice never seemed to stop increasing in volume, _oh the irony_.

Sighing he squeezed his eyes tight and hoped that some form of sleep would allow him to drift off into some form of dream that hopefully wasn't Bill centred, like they had been for the past few weeks.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

'DIPPER! IT'S PACIFICA! SHE'S HERE FOR A DANCE!'

Falling out of bed at a fast pace in the early morning in a not so graceful manner Dipper stood up and frantically twisted his head. 'What! Where?! Has she left yet? Still here, I need to get my things, I need… to… *sigh* God Dangit Mabel.' The look that donned her face was one that probably fit the Devil's description when he tortured lost souls but with the innocence amplified by around 10,000.

Trying hopelessly to contain herself she cackled at his grumpy mood, _'Good morning Dipping-Sauce._ Knew that would get your attention.' She poked his face a couple of times, just to push the limits of much it would take for him to give in to the truth of his 'acclaimed' crush, that she had been pushing for many years to happen.

Throwing his hands into the air in exasperation, 'C'mon Mabes, seriously? That was like I dunno three years ago now.' Dusting himself off he went to find some clothes for the day. _Let's see, leather Trench Coat… I'm so glad I got the Doctor Who styled one or perhaps leather jacket_

Mabel slung her arm around Dipper and made a broad sweeping gesture towards the ceiling. 'Come on Dip, the spirit of love has not yet faded. It burns strongly within in you and cannot be trampled on, sorta like a cockroach… I guess? YES, A COCKROACH!' Quickly regaining her inspiration she went into He-Man like stance with her fists shaking with overdramatic passion.

Separating their daily inspirational bonding moment Dipper heftily placed his arms on his hips, 'Oh come on Mabel. We both know that road did not go well with Jessica Strange. Don't even know why you set me up with her anyway. She's like a carbon copy of her dad, Tad Strange, creepy… and instead of a weird obsession with bread it was toast.' Mabel rolled her eyes at her brother's apparent lack of faith in his own success.

'Ah lighten up, bro-bro. I admit, it wasn't exactly my sharpest decision but we were running out of options okay. You're so picky with yo women son, need to be more open if you wanna slay some fresh meat, hambome.' Gesturing rap motions by making swiping karate movements up and down as she tried to imitate a childhood favourite TV show of hers, 'Get Real With Me'; something that had obviously never faded from her memory and to be honest it had scarred their Grunkle's as well when watching reruns.

Pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing, 'Firstly, stop imitating "Zippidy-Zap Zack" I don't need him back in my life again, **ever** ; secondly girls aren't even that into me and thirdly I'm super bad at relationships. Have you seen my track record?' Dragging himself back towards bed he grabbed the blue journal of his desk and pretended to flick through it, trying to take his mind off the subject.

Mabel sauntered over to his bed and jumped on it and purosely sat on his stomach causing him to lurch forward.

'Pffft, as if! Dude, you can steal any girl yo want. Cause You smart, You loyal, They appreciate that. Beep-boop-bop.' Poking his head, heart and eye… _Oh my God Mabel WHY!_ Trying to hold in the burning pain, he slapped her finger away.

'Uh huh sure "God Of Love"', gesturing with his fingers as he spoke in a sarcastic manner causing Mabel to blow a raspberry.

Shaking her fist into the air, 'Oh ye of little faith, may the power of Mabel smite thow unholy doubtfulness upon thy self and teach him some self-repentance.' Dipper abruptly jumped off the bed announcing his departure from the conversation with swiftness, Mabel fell over with a shriek of surprise and looked on as he walked away.

'I'm not done with you yet youngling… uh, uh… _The Love… Is Strong With You, A Powerful Player… You Shall Become.'_ Convulsing her body into a decrepit old man shape, pretending to imitate Emperor Scalpatine from Space Wars.

Dipper couldn't resist a nerd challenge, pointing at her in a battle stance he cried out, ' _I'll Never Join The Soft Side! I'm A Nerd, Like My Grunkle Before Me_ ; well at least one of them anyways.' Off handily gesturing at the inconvenience of their Grunkle's names when it came to role play.

Removing himself from the competition he began to saunter downstairs towards the smell of freshly or maybe not so freshly cooked Stancakes. Before things got out of hand and the possibility of another lightsabre golf club fight did not take his fancy at 8:00 am in the morning.

Before he made it downstairs he heard Mabel cry out in a crippled voice, ' _It Is The Only Way To Warm Your Heart! You… Like Your Other Grunkle Before You Are Now… Mine._ ' Scrunching up her face to desperately look malicious, which looked ridiculous due to the hug dimples she had managed to retain from their childhood, which currently had a red hue from her overplayed acting.

Chuckling softly Dipper walked down the creaking stairs to hear the quiet sounds of batter frying and sizzling in the pan whilst Grunkle Stan performed his usual ditty, 'Shoulda shaved ma back, Do-Doddily-Do, Stan Cakes got more Stan than Cake, Be-Ba-Boddily-Bab'.

Shuddering at the old man's comment, he made a mental note to always check the Stancakes before eating them. After all, he didn't want to wake with a hair ball tomorrow.

Dipper casually yelled up the stairs back to Mabel, 'Yeah, we'll see about that.'

Walking into the kitchen the old man looked up from his cooking 'Hey kid, hungry for some Stancakes?' For those of you at home, never try to flip a pancake whilst not looking because when it sticks to the ceiling and then lands on your face, it does not make for a pretty sight. Especially on Grunkle Stan's face.

 **Thanks for tuning in guys for this DAILY… uh WEEKLY…, uh BIWEEKLY? Maybe, who knows; any who thankyou for reading this fic, I love writing these short stories. Shout out to MagicMoneyPants who wrote the fic Anti-Gravity Falls, go read it… NOW! Seriously if you liked this then you'll love his it's ten times better than this, it gave me some inspiration ya know. :)**

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